Knight Of The Mind

I'll do my best to present a philosophical and generally conservative look at current events and life, the universe and everything. Readers are invited to take all that's posted herein with a grain of salt. or if they prefer, a grain of salt, a slice of lime and a shot of tequila.

Location: Alexandria, Virginia, United States

Greetings and welcome. My name is Steve, I'm 35 years old and I work for the US Army as an Operations Research Analyst. Hence my blog title Knight Of The Mind.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

SpongeBob = GayBob!?!? (I see stupid people!!)

I'm forlorn and heartbroken. I haven't felt this used since Charlie Hustle gambled on baseball and cheated on his wife. In a cruel and heartless world, we should be allowed to keep our heroes. But no, another paragon of truth and justice has swam off into the polluted waters of debauchery. At least according to the highly attuned rocket scientists over at American Family Association.

The American Family Association claims Spongebob Squarepants undermines our morals. And here I thought he was fighting the good fight. I couldn't imagine anyone more square than SpongeBob Squarepants. But alas, he's been swimming with the suckerfish over at the pink end of the reef.

The Central Scrutinizers over at AFA have claimed the latest SpongeBob video glamorizes homosexuality. At this point, I was overwhelmed with curiosity at how a guy who was so deformed he wore square pants could pitch or catch much of anything. The sordid details follow below.... (If you really worry about masculinity issues, use the back button on your browser now!)

The video is a remake of the 1979 hit song "We Are Family" using the voices and images of SpongeBob, Barney, Winnie the Pooh, Bob the Builder, the Rugrats and other TV cartoon characters. It was made by a foundation set up by songwriter Nile Rodgers after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, in an effort to promote healing.

Having read this about thrice now, I'm still ok. I think my fiance' is beautiful and won't be trading her in for a male hairdresser named Chauncey. As for James Dobson, he has issues and badly needs to lighten up. Here's what actually put the hairballs in his colon.

Christian groups however have taken exception to the tolerance pledge on the foundation's Web site, which asks people to respect the sexual identity of others along with their abilities, beliefs, culture and race.

"Their inclusion of the reference to 'sexual identity" within their 'tolerance pledge' is not only unnecessary, but it crosses a moral line," James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, said in a statement released Thursday.

So it's their website, not their SpongeBob video that crosses a line. Phew! That was a close one. Sponge's agent really needs to do more research next time before he signs on the bottom line. I'd hate to see the modern day Savanrolas burn all the SpongeBob videos. They are the Berninis of our junk food culture.

Update I: I finally found the person to the far right of Michelle Malkin. Oh Barnicles!!

Update II: Ricky at The New Democrat has a laugh at The Christian Right's expense. Congratulations Mr. Dobson.


As you may or may not already be aware, members of the Watcher's Council hold a vote every week on what they consider to be the most link-worthy pieces of writing around... per the Watcher's instructions, I am submitting one of my own posts for consideration in the upcoming nominations process.
Here is the most recent winning council post, here is the most recent winning non-council post, here is the list of results for the latest vote, and here is the initial posting of all the nominees that were voted on.

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