Knight Of The Mind

I'll do my best to present a philosophical and generally conservative look at current events and life, the universe and everything. Readers are invited to take all that's posted herein with a grain of salt. or if they prefer, a grain of salt, a slice of lime and a shot of tequila.

Location: Alexandria, Virginia, United States

Greetings and welcome. My name is Steve, I'm 35 years old and I work for the US Army as an Operations Research Analyst. Hence my blog title Knight Of The Mind.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Diving Into Dowd - Because Crap Sinks, It Doesn't Float Your Boat.

Sean Hackbarth at TAM also had the intestinal fortitude to read Maureen Dowd. Talk about something that had to have tasted better the first time it was eaten.....

Dowd displays a rather frightening fixation with Gilligan's Island. The evil part of mind wonders if she used to call Michael Douglas The Skipper during their intimate moments. She asks the philosophical question about Senator Kerry. "Does He Float Your Boat?"

It was a subtle reminder of Candidate Kerry's swiftboat days. Further proof that he was.....a VIETNAM VETERAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO let's dive into Maureen Dowd. Let's muck the depths of her trolladytic mind.

A good diver starts by properly tanking up, and I never reccommend a Maureen Dowd column with a good stiff vodka tonic. Paragraphs like the one below, immediately make you reach for a second one.

Her husband, as usual, went overboard. The Democratic convention, which was focus-group-dial-a- metered to death, needed a dose of dramamine. It was awash in allusions about Commander Kerry steering the ship of state - from the curved design of the metal and wood-paneled lectern, meant to evoke a ship's bridge; to the Massachusetts senator's arrival in Boston Harbor on the prow of a ferry, making like Washington crossing the Delaware; to the dramatic Vietnam Swift boat scenes in the biographical film; to Jim Rassman's iconic story of being saved when Lieutenant Kerry reached down and pulled him from the water over the bow, to the nominee's hokey salute and "reporting for duty."

Thanks Maureen, we got it, Sweetie.

And then there are those Maureen Moments. The lines she brings out just to make you regurgitate all of that alcohol before it does any lasting damage to your system. I wouldn't write this about anyone who handles himself in a courtroom as well as Senator Edwards.

John Edwards was a synchronized swimmer in the Kerry ocean of love:

I guess that's better than being a charming pet gerbil in Richard's Gerebox of digestive elimination. Just not by much. I can't find a less talented of inspiring writer on the editorial pages today. Perhaps that's only because I don't look very hard for William Raspberry, but Maureen truly stinks up the joint like an overeater who forgets the courtesy flush.

I admit it. I never made it past that line. I'm like a diver who's gone too deep too rapidly. Nitrogen narcosis has set in. Not badly enough to make Maureen seem smart or informative, but enough to err on the side of safety and leave Maureen Dowd submerged in her own murky world.

I'll manage my ascent very carefully. I'd hate to end up like Skipper Kerry and Gilligan Edwards. I perfer to sufficiently decompress on the way back up.


As you may or may not already be aware, members of the Watcher's Council hold a vote every week on what they consider to be the most link-worthy pieces of writing around... per the Watcher's instructions, I am submitting one of my own posts for consideration in the upcoming nominations process.
Here is the most recent winning council post, here is the most recent winning non-council post, here is the list of results for the latest vote, and here is the initial posting of all the nominees that were voted on.

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