Knight Of The Mind

I'll do my best to present a philosophical and generally conservative look at current events and life, the universe and everything. Readers are invited to take all that's posted herein with a grain of salt. or if they prefer, a grain of salt, a slice of lime and a shot of tequila.

Location: Alexandria, Virginia, United States

Greetings and welcome. My name is Steve, I'm 35 years old and I work for the US Army as an Operations Research Analyst. Hence my blog title Knight Of The Mind.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Obesity WIll Now Bloat The Budget

It hurts me to admit this, but I'm one of those people that I'd never want to sit next to aboard a Saab Turboprop.  It's not like I'm Michael Moore fat, but there's enough there there so that I won't be freezing if my bosses send me TDY to Alaska.
I can feel better now.  Those bombing runs at Cici's Pizza and Ryan's Steakhouse are not my fault.  I'm no longer a reprobate according to the people administering The Prescription Drug Panderation Act.  I have a medical condition, and it's not an abnormal failure of the vital self-discipline gland.
I suffer from obesity.  I was born with a genetic disposition to ruin other passenger's flights for them.  I'm sorry, I just can't help it. 
If I survive my immense girth for another 30 or so years, this is no longer just my problem.  When I dotter into some physician's office and get told to turn off the stinkin' blog and go exercise, I'm sending you the bill for the diet pills! 
So while I wither away to nothing and develop those octagenarian abs of steel, the poor, besieged taxpayer will be stuck picking up my tab.  There's an evil part of my brain that says "You know what Stevo, those jogging shoes are getting pretty expensive..."  Then that annoying conscience kicks in and reminds me that drinking three beers and eating one serving at dinner saves money compared to slamming down a twelve pack and getting asked to leave Cici's after they run out of plates and cheese sticks.
Wasting millions to cure the undisciplined and the lazy of obesity at the expense of the productive, lean and hard-working is such a perfect metaphor for The Tragedy of The Commons.  We could be taking this money and curing childhood Luekemia. 
But no, a bunch of lazy, sack-a--ed yuppies woke up one morning and didn't like what they saw in their mirrors.  Someone commissioned a Zogby Poll and found out that a majority of Americans would like to blame something other than sloth and indigence for their sagging Coors' guts and shortness of breath. 
Our government read those tea leaves, and Tommy Thompson, bless his pointy, little head, rode bravely to the rescue with sackfulls of other people's money.  Can we really afford crap like this when we whine about spending $87 billion on the liberation of Iraq? 
UPDATE:  Former "Cheers" star Kirstie Alley has a new cable comedy loosely based on her life - "Fat Actress." "They don't give a damn how much I eat or how many men I sleep with, as long as it's on camera," says the Emmy-winning Alley

I'm so happy the US Government is here to help people like Kirstie...

Update II:  In light of Linda Ronstadt's recent psychotic break, and her self-serving inabilty to distinguish the First Amendment from a personal service contract, I have decided to publish the fattest, most recent photo of her I can find.

Thank You.  (I think.)  Another needy candidate for Uncle Sam's Fat-burners.

Update III:  Not That There's Anything "Naturel" About This fat Freak

Readers of Hog On Ice Webblog are now officially qualified to tell you the difference between wrong and fun.



As you may or may not already be aware, members of the Watcher's Council hold a vote every week on what they consider to be the most link-worthy pieces of writing around... per the Watcher's instructions, I am submitting one of my own posts for consideration in the upcoming nominations process.
Here is the most recent winning council post, here is the most recent winning non-council post, here is the list of results for the latest vote, and here is the initial posting of all the nominees that were voted on.

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