Knight Of The Mind

I'll do my best to present a philosophical and generally conservative look at current events and life, the universe and everything. Readers are invited to take all that's posted herein with a grain of salt. or if they prefer, a grain of salt, a slice of lime and a shot of tequila.

Location: Alexandria, Virginia, United States

Greetings and welcome. My name is Steve, I'm 35 years old and I work for the US Army as an Operations Research Analyst. Hence my blog title Knight Of The Mind.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Ars Vitae: Dark Tower VI - As Bad As Stephen King Gets

I usually enjoy Stephen King's writing enough to take his political leftism with a grain of salt.  This is because he truly understands how to construct a first-rate story.  He crafts his books exquisitely and builds tension until they are impossible to put down. 
It's like listening to Howard Dean passing the baseball bat.  I know full well the man is a whacked-out lefty fruit bat, but he sure puts on one heck of a show.  At least he did until he wrote this one. 
Song of Susannah tells the story of a heroic female character, Susannah Dean,  who is impregnated by a demon, is possessed by a woman spirit, is married to a recovering heroin addict and has recently finished fighting a major gun battle while more than 8 months pregnant.  On top of that, her legs are amputated, which totally screws her career as a triathelete.  Other than that, she's having a pretty swell week.
Then Susannah discovers planar travel and gets to visit New York with her evil crystal ball, Black 13.   Susannah herself is African American in much the same way that John Kerry is a Vietnem Vet.   It's the only reason King put her in the story.  It's his way to be different from all those other white people.
The wheelchair was introduced back in Book II of King's Leninist Song of Roland;  The Drawing Of Three.  It's a sure-fire literary device to prevent a character from ever being a walking cliche.  Now that Howard Dean has melted into obscurity like a glacier from the ice age, Stephen King has stepped to the fore to educate all us Southern Whiteys on the topic of race.
He even has poor ol' Susannah end up whelping at The Dixie Pig BBQ Restaurant and Klavern, I mean Tavern.  Imagine giving birth around all those working class Anglo-Saxons.  The place reeks of the undead.  I never quite pictured a joint full of vampires who favored both NASCAR and Beechnut Chewin' Tobacco.
Why would the saintly Susannah The Oppressed whelp in The Dixie Pig?  The Devil made her do it; Randall Flagg.  You can nuke him in The Stand, but you'd stand a better chance of killing Freddy Krueger
Flagg is Stephen King's archetypical suburban American.  I keep waiting for him show up at a GOP convention to introduce the nominee.  King just hates the guy too much to put him in a dirt coma.
Of course while Susannah is being demonically possessed and forced against her noble will to frequent a redneck dive from hell, Roland of Gilead, Jake and Eddie Dean are all doing what any heroic leftist would do as second nature.  Fighting for Susannah's right to abort this multicultural Mordred.  Imagine an evil character named Mordred who is destined to ghost some dude named Roland.  That way he  go down in history as the Multi-culti Mixed Metaphor.   

Suffice it to say, I'd rather go camping in Salem's Lot than read this book ever again.  Once I got past page two, I figured out approximately how the plot would ossify.  The novel stretched interminably towards a predictable end.  I'm quite sure Lancelot, and his by-blow Mordred, could both inseminate Queen Guinevere in less time then it took Stephen King to finish preaching and finish this mediocre novel.


As you may or may not already be aware, members of the Watcher's Council hold a vote every week on what they consider to be the most link-worthy pieces of writing around... per the Watcher's instructions, I am submitting one of my own posts for consideration in the upcoming nominations process.
Here is the most recent winning council post, here is the most recent winning non-council post, here is the list of results for the latest vote, and here is the initial posting of all the nominees that were voted on.

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